Treasure

It has been eleven months since our BreAnna took her journey to Heaven. Our family was fortunate to have had such a strong, powerful spirit in our lives. We spent those eleven years filling our lives with special, treasured memories.

Besides the beautiful thoughts and memories, we are always finding notes, pictures, Bre’s toys and other surprises. Her presence continues here at home. She loved our home and made it a beautiful place to come home to!

She is here. The signs are all around us. Sometimes the message is simple…

Hello!

Goosebumps

I have goosebumps on both arms… Hair on arms standing too. I just showed Carmen.

I just walked into the kitchen to get some coffee and saw a small, fast shadow run from right in front of me and into the dining room.

Fast, in the blink of the eye. I caught a glimpse of our girl. We know you are here. Right where you always wanted to be…

Home.

Flash of Light

Right there. In this doorway to the hall is where I saw you. In a flash. In a moment. You were right there.

This morning as I prepared for work, I caught a glimpse of a white shadow. Looked like an angel about four feet tall. I gasped it was so real.

I know it was you. Thank you.

Fall Is In The Air

Today was another great fall day in Oregon.  Yesterday was Bre’s 12th birthday.  I was sitting on our wall after doing some yard work this afternoon with my wife Carmen.  We were gathering the leaves from our very showy October Glory Sunset Maple.  I was looking up through the treetops at the sky.  I was remembering that October was a wonderful month for BreAnna.  Her birthday was on the 12th.  She loved Halloween.  During the last few years, we kind of turned the 12th through the 31st into a fun, extended birthday party for Bre.  Fun, friends, party, CANDY!

While daydreaming about the good times and memories, I looked to the sky to see a small falcon or kestrel flying in a circle high above the trees.  I turned to remark about this beautiful bird to Carmen, then looked back up to see that, in an instant, it vanished.  I got up off the wall and ran to the street to get a better look at the sky…  

Gone.  But not in my mind.  This was Bre’s spirit back for another visit; letting us know that she is here.  She will always be. 

Evening High Light

I love the outdoors. I enjoy being in nature, taking in all it has to offer. I saw some amazing things last weekend while camping. Cloudy skies and the threat of a downpour ended up with a brilliant beam of light coming through a hole in the dark clouds. Comforting and reassuring LIGHT. Strong and definite.

I recently lost loved ones; my daughter ten months ago and my sister two weeks ago. I see this light as a beam from Heaven, where I know they are… Looking over me as I heal from these losses.

I see lots of other signs from nature that things are cool on the “other side.” You just have to keep your ears and eyes open.

Bre and I often talked about and admired rainbows. She loved to draw and color them. Some her latest ones are the most breathtaking.

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Things are looking up!

Morning High Light

Olallie Butte looms to the east. Something inside, for some time now, tells me I need to get to the top. Sure, I’ve seen pictures from up there on the Internet, but c’mon… I need to get up there.

Olallie Butte is the 3rd highest peak in this part of the state of Oregon. Mts Hood and Jefferson ahead of it. From up there, you can see everything; all the other notable peaks, eastern Oregon, the numerous lakes.

I ran to the trailhead yesterday, then a quarter mile up. The trail is more like a dry creek bed. The Warm Springs tribe has removed all signage along the trail on their reservation. I hear they don’t want folks on the land. But I must go up.

Weather has changed… Sprinkles and cooler air may signal that storm predicted for later today. The Butte may have to wait (damn).

But… I think something’s going on up there….

The Mountains Called…

“The mountains are calling and I must go.” ~ John Muir

Made it to Olallie Lake. This time, I really needed this; it has been a heckuva week. Set up camp last evening in Camp Ten. Settled for another spot as our favorite Campsite 3 was taken. Brought Brandon, his buddy Tyson and two of his dogs.
While I set up tent trailer, they tried some fishing.

I love it here.

My Dad used to bring me here when I was growing up. It has stuck with me. It is just far enough and rugged enough to keep crowds away.

I have a picture of my sister and I at this lake from the seventies. The road was blocked by snow, so Dad parked the car and we hiked in the last mile or so. Can’t recall how the fishing was, but I remember the day.

I like to rise early. Not to fish, but to simply breathe this place in. I watch the sun rise over Olallie Butte and the lake. I make coffee. I make a fire to sit by. Listen to the eagle and osprey chatter. These are some of the things I live for. This is my Happy Place.

I planned on a trail run or two this weekend. Here I go….

On the skirts of Olallie Butte. Trail ran here from the lake on the Pacific Crest Trail. Three miles in with Tyson’s lab Cain. This is a well trained dog! Off the leash he runs right at my feet (Owen take note!).

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This segment of the PCT goes onto the Warm Springs Indian Reservation. This is sacred ground. Olallie Lake borders the Rez. My uncle Andy told me when I was younger that I had the ability to “walk in two worlds.” Maybe that is why I like it here so much… I can bounce back and forth between the “two worlds.” My Mom’s side of the family is Dakotah Sioux; Dad’s side English by way of Missouri.

Finished 6 miles of trail running on PCT. let hot Labrador take a swim for being such a good run buddy. Now THAT was a thrill. Need to rest up so we do that again!

Trail Runners

I started the blog as a grief journal after the loss of our daughter BreAnna. I have rediscovered writing; something I enjoyed many years ago. It has evolved into more than a grief journal and I’m okay with that. I have written about several different topics, but ultimately, loss is what brought me here…
This week, I lost another important person in my life: my beautiful sister Melissa. My last blog was about that afternoon in the woods and the wind in the trees. With that wind was a message. I was receptive to the message because of BreAnna and all the little things she has done to let me know that she is “here.” I have become more aware, I guess. Tuned in. I have found the outdoors and hiking and trail running to be good for me.
Melissa was a runner. It was her that convinced me to go out for track in high school. She and I ran long distance. We each competed in the one and two mile races, respectively. We were not the fastest kids out there, but we competed and didn’t quit. I am so glad I listened to her.
Tuesday, I was running the Wildwood Trail; one of my favorite post-work places. Towards the end of my run, I felt the presence of someone’s steps next to mine. I know it was my sister… At last, free to be anywhere she wishes to be. I stopped and took this short video of the surroundings and the wind, again blowing through the trees. Really listen…

I am so happy you made it!

The Wind Through the Trees

My sister Melissa passed away this past weekend. While I was trail running the day before, I was stopped in my tracks by sudden silence, solitude, then the wind blowing through the trees. This is one of my favorite earthly sounds.
This time, though, it seemed different. This breeze had a message…

I got the phone call the next morning.

A Scent and a Touch…

While watching a Netflix documentary about a guy who wakes up with the abilities to see and sense angels and spirits, I had a couple interesting things happen…

First was the smell of roses (which I have had before) during the first part of the film.

Then while sitting on the couch (in Bre’s favorite spot) felt something touch my right knee. I thought Owen brushed up against my leg, but he was not in the room.

BreAnna enjoyed these types of movies. There was a lot of info that the guy was getting from those around him as he sought answers about his “gift.” I feel that I was “opening up” again for sensing the spirits that I know are around me.